By: Poonam Singh Jamwal-Amity Care Parenting Expert
Once again the results are out and there is a rush to get college admissions. Students are anxious and disheartened even before the whole process has begun. Stories of high cutoffs and missed opportunities are making rounds. To top it all, the frenzy around the quotas! Where is all this heading and where it’ll take our children, is gnawing at the parents mercilessly. This is the test of parenting in the true sense. Take stock of things- your child’s performance, his aptitude, her interest and options available.Tackle each option one at a time without losing your cool or focus .
Parents stop panicking-
Usual plaintiff of parents’ is-Will he make it through the nursery school? Would he win the race? How many stars he’s got? Is he a prefect? What will she be? Will he be strong? Will she be famous? Will he marry right? All these questions are integral part of parenting and caring but they are reasonable upto a point.Beyond that they cause anxiety and unnecessary Pressure, pressure, pressure… Ke Sara Sara, Whatever will be, Will be, the future’s not ours to see... Be there and give it your best shot. But, for god’s sake, stop panicking.
Already too many young lives are snuffed out or are in a turmoil because of parental panic.Be systematic. If you keep a cool head.
As parents we need To set the right example -We are the hero. Tough but true. The entire world’s good and evil is the outcome of parenting-direct or inadvertent. With hero worship as given, parents need to foster trust, improve communication and show the way. “I have instilled strong values like being respectful to elders, humility, humaneness and self-help. It’s a tough act for kids to walk the straight and narrow path. There are far too many pulls and pressures and the marketplace is forever designed to attract young sticky eyeballs. Parents have a very strong and key role to play and give kids direction.” Anita Kaul Basu.
Lend them a sense of peace. We have to find our peace and our children will find theirs.Amita Wattal principal Springdale Pusa said, “In order to create a world where children are empowered to develop their sense of peace, it is essential to create a close and supportive relationship with oneself, because we can only give to our children those things that we already possess.”
Strike a balance. Anita Kaul Basu says, “I have been a strict but loving mother. Children are not playthings that you bring into this life for your pleasure and neither are they clumps of inanimate dough to be squashed, pinched and moulded the way you want them. We have to invest love, care and strong values in our children. My endeavour has always been to have a balanced outlook towards my kids, neither too strict nor too overindulgent. It’s not easy to achieve that balance, but believe me the power is still in our hands.”
Young people are looking at us for direction, support and love. In the chaos of possibilities and too much or too little information - we have to do our research and sit down and work out options. Health and well being of our wards is our first priority. When most doors are shut, there are a few waiting to open. There are enough options for training for young people today. They have to be good human beings with an ability to work hard and there is a place under the sun for them.
For comments,contributions and queries,please write in to us at psjamwal@amity.edu