THE TEEN YEARS - A CHALLENGE
                           Nidhi Kaul
          Counselor, DPS, Greater Noida

“ The reason that teenagers give their power to parents is that their parents have something that teenagers want. Be it love, house, car, food or clothes……”

It is very common to hear teenagers say that adults don't understand them & similarly adults say that teenagers don't understand them. The difference between adults & teenagers is that adults want to “discuss things”; “talk it over” & kids just want to “do it”, i.e. they prefer action to words. Teenagers perceive the “adult talk” as a form of lecture, preaching or teaching. The “dos” & “don'ts” never work with them!!

Each one of us needs encouragement, motivation & support to move forward in life…. So do these teenagers!! Instead they often hear "don't do this”, "you shouldn't get into this field”,"you'll never grow up". What they want to hear is "you can do it”, "no matter whatever happens, we are with you."

The problem isn't always just between talking & taking action; but in simple words it is

" BAD COMMUNICATION " But the question is that why do teenagers think & act differently than adults??? It is because they are in search of their own "identity". They want to develop a strong "sense of belonging” among their peer group. It is common to hear the teenage lingo's like:-

      Was sup? (Means what is happening?)
      Yo! (Means yes)
      Mar sutiye (means a PJ)

These lingo's are interesting, amusing & funny. Using these words that adults don't understand sets a teenager apart from the adult world; it gives them their independence & control.

HOW SHOULD PARENTS COMMUNICATE WITH CHILDREN ?

•  Listen to them; don't react without listening to whatever your teen has to say.
•  Understand that they also have their own world, own thinking, likes-dislikes, friends, dreams… respect it all.
•  Keep the communication channel open. Avoid preaching your teen. Be more like a friend & to understand them well come down to their level.
•  When your teen makes a mistake, don't ridicule them. Instead make them realize their mistake. We all make mistakes in life!!!
•  Don't be hurt if your teen doesn't confide in you, but prefer talking to their friends. Respect their need for privacy.
•  If your teen faces a problem in deciding onto something, tell him / her all the related pros & cons then let them decide for their own self.
•  Love your teen unconditionally. If your child has done something wrong, focus on that unacceptable behavior, instead of attacking your child's personality.

Don't try to perfect your teen, but as a parent keep trying to perfect your relationship with them .

As it is rightly said by BOB DYLAN

"Come mothers and fathers throughout the land
And don't criticize, what you can't understand
your sons and your daughters are beyond your command
your old road is rapidly agin'. Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand for the times they are a-changin'."