Esha Govil

                                Counselor – Somerville School , Vasundhara.

The world is changing and India is no exception.

There is a remarkable change in the attitude of the youth towards premarital sex. Sexual permissiveness and exposure to heterosexual relationships has increased with more than a quarter of India 's youngsters indulging in premarital sexual relationships. Their predominant attitude is to ‘live life to the fullest!' but yet we seldom see them living, but merely existing.

New technology like the internet and mushrooming cyber cafes, mobile phones, rampant text messaging and call center revolution is an important factor encouraging the phenomenon. The young ones grow up in a society where television, movies, sexually charged music & magazines representing themselves as ‘virtual peer,' push our children towards sexual activity at a young age.

To make matters worse, most parents do not tend to talk about sex to their children in timely and comprehensive ways, leading to a vacuum in which media becomes a powerful sex educator, providing frequent and compelling portraits of sex as fun and risk free.

No doubt that parents' in the metropolitan areas adorn a more liberal and uninhibited face. But they often fail when they compensate their absence by providing material possessions, easy money and easy accessibility to technology to their children. There are parents who restrict their talks to school performances, reminders of chores & their plans for the child's future. Very little time is spent listening to the child's thoughts, feelings, interests and ideas.

Since adolescence is a turbulent time with raging hormones, characterized by exploration and experimentation, children are caught in a dilemma as to what is right and what is wrong. They keep getting unbalanced and confusing messages from parents, peers and media, especially about ‘SEX' and ‘SEXUALITY'.

No wonder most adolescents nowadays lack the sense of direction. Instead of focusing on their career and personality development, they are preoccupied with experimenting on drugs, sex, and indulging in every fantasy.

As a consequence things like HIV, sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy shape their lives. It's disheartening to know that teenagers engaging in premarital sex contribute one third of HIV population in India . This is alarming and needs to be prevented or soon HIV infection will cripple our economy.

Since there is a lot of confusion and chaos which an adolescent goes through regarding their identity, sexuality, career goals, and peer pressure etc, a sensitive and frank communication is important. Children need to be taught the difference between ‘Responsible Sexual Behavior' and that which is harmful to themselves and others.

Early sex education through schools will help this cause in a great way. It will sensitize children toward sex and gender roles and sex education should be aimed at empowering them to maintain meaningful and rewarding relationships. It should equip them to protect themselves and avoid harmful outcomes from sexual behavior like unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

Home and school, are the best environments for educating our youth towards ‘Responsible Sexual Behavior'. To take this step forward, here are a few tips for parents and teachers:

•  It's important for parents to develop a good rapport with their children. The relationship should be balanced and parents should develop an approachable attitude that would encourage their child's questioning ability.

· Parents need to communicate frankly and maturely with their children and give the rationale behind rules and morals. Sometimes, sharing personal experiences and offering to discuss issues with children can be a way of bridging the gap. Using humor, audio visual material or even just lending a non judgmental, patient listening ear may prove to be very useful.

•  Real change happens when teachers wake up to an informed set of beliefs about what adolescence is all about and how best to relate with adolescent children. Education is the development of the whole person: body and mind. So teachers must focus on the intellectual, emotional and spiritual developmental as well as physical fitness, nutrition, diet and overall wellbeing of the child.

•  Teachers should possess skills to create an engaging, exciting and caring classroom atmosphere where each child gets a chance to express himself/herself, learn, perform and clear doubts regarding any issue.

Sexual relations among youth are a growing problem, not only for parents and children, but also for society as a whole. Premarital sex has been the cause of teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and feelings of regret, all the terrible things that no one should go through. If only we could teach them to resist temptation and the virtue of patience!

In reality, the only way to safeguard oneself from these unwanted life changing events is ‘Sexual Abstinence'. But our youth claims, that abstinence is impossible. But then again millions on the very same planet adhere to it one way or the other and all it takes is the power to say “No” at the right time for the right reasons.